![]() ![]() Cue a state of panicked readiness amongst SRB’s army while the soldiers pretty much just run the hell away as the head-bedecked boats drift out of the mists. ![]() This unease is driven home in a major way by Ragnar sitting beneath them and smiling like a Cheshire cat. Their anxiety is in zero ways assuaged when they see that all the heads of their allies are hanging off the boats like giant hideous Christmas ornaments. He asks a question and Lagertha’s like whaaaaaaa? And Athelstan tells her Ecbert wants to know if she’s single and Lagertha is like OOOOH OKAY with a slightly deer in headlights look and Ecbert is kind of adorably half smirky.īack to Scumbag Rapist Brother’s army, who are super anxious about the Vikings headed their way. Lagertha thanks Ecbert and tells him it was always her and Ragnar’s dream to farm and live peacefully with others and whatever, and Athelstan just whispers the translation into Ecbert’s ear while he GAZES WITH ADORING WONDER AT LAGS. are we just winging that? Ecbert gives his personal guarantee. Lagertha’s like oh cool so is there some guarantee they won’t get pissed and start trouble or like is that just…. Ecbert’s like uuuuh just had to kick out some Saxon’s NBD. Lagertha asks Athelstan to ask Ecbert who used to farm the land that is now theirs, probably because it’s just too weird and awkward to sit there quietly with him staring at her. Rollo and Beardy have learned the word “no”, so at least that’s progress.Ĭut to a camp that is less bloody and less drunk and here’s King Ecbert, loungin’ and shootin’ googly eyes at Lagertha. Rollo is all very charming smiles and then goes for a grope, which she thinks is momentarily hilarious, but then he leans in and she smacks him in the face and he falls over, and she tells him NO like he is a very bad puppy. They are super confused because language barrier, and stare at her like she is a drunk crazy lady. ![]() So they have a chuckle over that before Kwenthric joins them. Are they foraging? Are they eating hallucinogenic mushrooms? What the hell is this? Rollo tells him it was the angle of the guy’s leg, he couldn’t help himself and like what. So Rollo shushes everyone, who are like DUDE WHAT WTF WHAT WAS THAT WHY? Torstein is also like what was that about? when Rollo goes back and sits down, although he’s way calmer about it than the traumatized, terrified usurper soldiers. Because apparently he wasn’t dead he was just sleeping. There is a collapsed/dead enemy soldier lying in the dirt that seems to be bugging him, so he wanders over and grabs an axe? And then freaks out and starts hacking him to death with it. There is weird music and it’s in slow-mo, so God only knows where this is going. She challenges his belief in fate and the gods, he’s like whatever, she’s like stop treating me differently cuz I’m a lady, he’s like UGH WHATEVER marry me? And she’s like you could have just said, yeah, duh, and he’s like good, and they are ENGAGED AND IT IS PRECIOUS. He tugs her away and she’s like today was hella fun let’s do this all the time, and Bjorn is like you rocked it but NEVER LEAVE MY SIDE DURING A FIGHT EVER. Porunn is drinkin’ with the other raiders and Bjorn is like listen let’s talk. Ragnar thinks this is super sad and messed up and walks away. Floki brings the head of Kwenthric’s uncle over, and she takes it and starts stabbing it a whole lot. Ragnar is extremely uncomfortable and appropriately horrified. Oh, hey, here’s Kwenthric’s backstory of being prostituted as a child by her brother and uncle. Ragnar’s like JFC, Floki can you go get that for me? And Floki’s like hey fasho, and walks off to go get it. Kwenthric is drunk drunk and going on about how pleased she is with the way things went, aka dead uncle. Torstein is super freaked out and not hungry, and Ragnar and Rollo go to hang out with him and try and talk him down. Much meading and rejoicing goes on in the woods while everyone sews themselves up and eats and chills out and recoups. The aftermath of the ass whooping Ragnar and friends gave the usurping uncle is pretty brutal, and bad-haircut Brother on the opposite shore is not the most thrilled ever about it. This reviewcap is also super late getting posted because sometimes the gods are angry. This disclaimer is also applicable to this reviewcap, along with a healthy warning for naughty words and, of course, spoilers. This program contains violent scenes and some sexual content that is not suitable for younger viewers, unless they are Viking children, in which case it’s par for the course. Previously, on Vikings, the Lothbrooks & their besties went to England to farm/help people win crappy thrones. ![]()
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